hazy days

Despite the fact that i have a ridiculously youthful appearance and continue to be carded upon entering any possible form of age restricted venue, maturity is slowly seeping into my skin. My summer days are now a hazy mash of long cooked breakfasts on the balcony and lazily strolling through parks, accompanied by various friends and boyfriends who have also swapped bubblegum and Katy Perry for sensible 2 fruit and 5 veg meals and the strains of Architecture in Helsinki. I'ts all about bbq's and beers and sun-kissed skin and sweat slicked ponytails swinging enthusiastically side to side as we amble hot gum studded roads in big drunken masses. This is it, this is Summer. 

i will possess your heart.

feeling a little pressured by eating and such like recently. I know anorexia is a disease, but sometimes i find so much comfort in it. This isn't really relevant to this blog, but i blog to express, not impress, so i suppose it doesn't really matter. I've graduated high school now, so when i'm not working, i don't have my study to concentrate on and i spend alot of time focusing on my health and what i'm eating. i  never really understood what my problem was with eating and fashion and everything, until i went and saw the 'Black Swan', in theatres. I realised that like she was, i was striving for perfection. I want to be perfect. That includes alot of things from hair, to clothes, to etiquette etc. Being a tiny weight and being in control of my body and the food and calories i choose to consume has just become a part of that. I don't know how i feel about everything at the minute, all i know is i need to find some way to let it all out. So here it is.

it's not that i hate you exactly, it's just that if you were on fire and i had water, uhhh i would probably just drink the water.

oh i suppose

went out for a bit with my friend trish, ljfdlsfjdsjfls need to buy the new sophia kinsella pronto! I shall have you know that the second photo is a joke/not serious/a joke.
boyfriend coming to stay in two days! so beyond the valley of happy city right now.
au revioir

you probably don't even know my middle name, but it's ok considering i don't even know your first one.

summer is approaching, my word, what isn't looming near right now? My exam finals begin in four days, my boyfriend is flying out to go on holidays with me next week, plus i am all but finished school for the rest of my life within a matter of weeks! with a summer filled with lazy beach dances and a lot of teenage rebellion to get out of my system before officially becoming jfhdoiafhid RESPONSIBLE, you know, GROWN UP, i plan to make the most of my fleeing youth. Coming from someone who's wardrobe consists of fur, fur and more fur, dressing for summer is defenitely difficult. However, i intend to splash out on 49075969058695896859 cotton dresses and make the focal point of my summer style my nails. This statement, of course, is ridiculous, as i spend roughly 75% of my days agonizing over clothing and styles, yet all this talk of summer has temporarily slid me into the summer mood, and i feel far too lazy to even consider anything but starfish and watermelon juice right now. Going to go dig out my summer playlist now, au revoir! xx

i could really use a wish right now

have finally dragged myself away from watching the gossip girl season four promo video (it's only about a minute long, but i've watched it for a couple of hours eek) and am trying to get myself to think straight. Went out last night for my brothers birthday, had dinner with friends and ended up playing a game of darkone, which is like lazer tag in a pitch black warehouse. it's trippy really, as soon as my eyes adjust to the inky blackness, i'm just about given a heart attack from a random dousing of strobe lights. The darkzone thing was kind of a last minute decision so i was on heels for the 20 minutes or so that we were scrambling round in darkness, which, let me assure you is no easy feat.
have been keeping up with my pilates recently, i've found that combining toning excercises with fruit smoothies and late night jogs is a recipe for feeling fresher, happier and 5454074398943 times more productive than if i just chill at home reading vogue and watching the oc.

went to see the waiting city with a friend of mine who is a media uni student, so she knew the producer, anyway the film was intense. i'm not usually a fan of foreign films, especially ones in india or south east asia as i find them too confronting for just relaxing with a film, but i loved the waiting city. isabel lucas is possibly one of the most underrated actors and models to walk this earth. Her beauty isn't just breathtaking, it's actually ispiring. well at least it was in the film. She has such a natural, God given beauty that nobody could really ever compete with.

being rather pale and roughly half the towering beauty's height, i have since gone on a bronzing rampage, buying several summer indulgence bronzing products to try and bring back a tiny bit of confidence after seeing her stunning debut in the waiting city, alas, we are not all made with perfect bone structure, startling eyes and skin the colour of light mocha, yet luckily for isabel, she is one of the chosen ones. thankfully, she carries it off well.

hit me. just once i want to feel something.

originally went out tonight for sushi and to see the much obcessed about inception, but as generally happens when i desire to do something, something interfered with our plan. The theatre for inception filled up roughly five people before we reached the ticket stand, so instead we had japanese in this quaint little shop where there was a sushi train snaking amid everyone who was seated comfortably around the conveyer belt. After sushi and iced tea we ended up going shopping for nibblies at the iga before coming back for chai lattes in a coffee club booth. after mocking the standard dress of every teenage girl strutting past in tattered leggings and their tacky supre leather jackets, we decided to be rebellious and daring as it was indeed saturday night, which is how we ended up coming back to my house to watch gossip girl and the oc. GOOD TIMES.
Am currently flipping through the most recent vogue and adding roughly 3957935 more pages to my wish list in the back of my steadily growing organiser. There are no words for how desperately i wish i could hold the above leather alexander wang shorts which rumi neely luckily snapped up i see. i am literally at a loss when it comes to describing how badly and desperately i want them for my very own. Sadly my desire is quickly turning into obcession and i think it's time for me to go to bed with it being 1 am and all. Hope your saturday night was ridiculously snazzy.
arrividerci.
xo